69

      69ing. It doesn’t get enough attention. I’d say it was one of the first sexual positions I learned about, maybe because it’s easy to spell, to explain, and is thrown around jokingly, but really I haven’t had nearly enough serious conversations about 69ing. Logistically, it ends up being pretty tricky regardless of what genitals you’re packing and what your partner has going on. If you’re into oral and impatient it’s definitely a viable sexual option, but if you want to make it all the way to orgasm without a sore neck, you’ve got to do some experimenting to find a way that works.

      In my opinion, female bodied same sex couples are at an advantage when it comes to 69ing. There is just less chance of getting whacked in the face with a vulva than a penis, which I’d consider a bonus, but to each their own. In this pairing, if you decide to 69 there is also less of the dilemma of who’s on top, either way you’ll have to deal with a little bit on neck strain, but it’s nothing a few pillows can’t help with.  Depending what you’re into, the lady on top can put her knees on either side of her partner’s head, positioning them closer to the top of the head for easier access to the clitoris, or closer to the shoulders or even under the shoulders if you want to be able to stimulate the anus also. The lady on the bottom may be aided by a pillow to support her head depending on the angle of her partner, also putting a pillow under the pelvis can aid her partner’s access to the vulva.

      In heterosexual couples I recommend that the lady be on top, maybe that’s just my personal preference, but logistically there’s less complication. Performing oral sex on a male bodied person during 69 from below is not impossible, by any means, and depending on your sexual style may be really hot, however you definitely will want some neck support and you’ll have to watch out for swinging scrotum.

      In male bodied same sex couples the most important logistical element is finding the right position to facilitate comfortable angles with which to perform oral sex effectively. This may by harder if you have an extreme height different with your partner, however isn’t necessarily something there is prescriptive advice for. Your position will depend a lot on the style you prefer receiving/giving head in, and your resulting 69 positionality may differ from partner to partner because of this.

      Regardless of position and genitalia involved 69ing can be a very rewarding act, it gives you a unique and very advantageous view of your partner’s genitals and allows for exploration of a variety of oral pleasures. If your partner is into it, explore the options of oral; don’t forget about the taint, the anus, the balls, the clitoris, the layers of labia, the vagina, and also the sensitive skin of the inner thighs. Rules of consent and communication obviously still apply, and this can be especially difficult while 69ing because both mouths are occupied, but it important to be a considerate participant and check in with your partner about how the 69 is going.

      As both participants are receiving and giving pleasure it’s sometimes easy to get carried away, so if you need a break, take, it, but don’t leave your partner hanging. If you’re getting really into it (awesome!) make sure that you check how your body reacts with how that will effect your partner, you don’t want to thrust too much or move in a way which will make your partner physically uncomfortable. Also, as angles of 69 can get tiring or complicated, it’s better to readjust than to smother someone (who doesn’t want to be smothered). There’s always the option of the sideways 69, which is basically just what it sounds like, 69ing but on your sides, so no one is on top.

     For many people 69ing can be extremely intimate or make them feel vulnerable, so make sure to ask your partner if they want to, if they like 69ing, and if they’re comfortable with 69ing before jumping into it.