TDOR

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, a solemn but important day to remember those who have been killed, harmed, and discriminated against because of transphobia. 

            Although the day is relatively new, this only being its thirteenth anniversary, there is a lot of misunderstanding about the purpose of the day, and even what it means to be transgendered. In general, we encounter gender in very limiting and polarizing way, which is why I think everyone should take some time this November 20^th to think about gender, how it shapes so many of your everyday experiences, how these experiences would be different or even impossible if you were transgendered, how life has been for those who are transgendered, and then remember them with the respect and admiration they deserve.

            To begin understanding how to honor those we mourn, we must understand what is meant by transgender. There are plenty of liberal minded people and organizations that claim to support “GLBT” communities, however most forget about the T, often confuse transsexual and transgender, and don’t take the time to evaluate what they could be doing to make this world a friendlier place to the transgender community.

            Transgender is an umbrella term for a number of identities that are all distinct, while sharing the quality of challenging the conception of the male/female gender binary and resulting gender roles. Not to be used a synonymous with transgender is transsexual, which applies to those who wish to live and be accepted as the opposite sex to which they were assigned at birth (this may include undergoing physical changes such as hormone therapy or gender reassignment surgery, or may not).  Also under the umbrella of transgender are cross-dressers, transvestites, drag kings, drag queens, and androgyne. Although all of these identities deserve to be explored, that would make for quite a lengthy post, and I feel personally compelled to talk further about genderqueer identity based on some recent interactions I’ve experienced.

Genderqueer is a gender identity that does not fit onto the conventional gender binary; some people who identify as genderqueer may feel like they are neither male nor female, some may feel that they are both; some may feel that the terms male and female cannot even be used to describe their gender. Most importantly, this does not mean they’re confused or undecided. Genderqueer, along with all identities under the transgender umbrella do not indicate any particular sexual orientation.

In defining gender identities it must be said that there is a lot of grey area, and as with any identity I believe that no one definition is true in a universal way. When I say I identify as a woman, what woman means to be is going to be slightly (are largely) different than what the cisgendered woman next to me defines as “woman”. The same can be said for any trans identity.

            I feel it is important to understand these identities in order to comprehend how truly difficult everyday life can be for those who are transgendered, and how ignorance, intolerance, and hate further complicate this. Gendered bathrooms, locker rooms, and form which only offer an F or M as options of “sex” or “gender” are all frustrating daily challenges for the transgender community, along with most of their daily interactions with people who insist on using (and assuming) preferred gender pronouns.

            Apart from physical spaces, many open-minded people have disappointed me in their lack of awareness and acceptance. Though I understand not everyone wants to talk about sex and gender as much as I do, and this criticism definitely does not extend to every person I know, it shocks me how often I hear people talking about heteronormativity and sexism, but how little I hear people using these terms to acknowledge the transgender population and their struggle towards equal rights.

 I understand that for some, these identities may seem radical, some my not have encountered them in their daily lives, and thinking about how ubiquitous gendered pronouns are in language is a little mind blowing when you have to think about it, but that’s just it, those who are cisgendered have to put effort into thinking about it. Consider that those who are transgendered have to think about it everyday and struggle for acceptance and equal rights based on their gender identities. The gender binary and gender roles hurt the agency of both men and women, I feel like most people these days know this, (maybe I’m too optimistic?) but maybe the entire gendered system, society, and language that we operate in hurts everyone on some level.

            So this November 20^th observe Transgender Day of Remembrance and really think about what you can do to make yourself and the environments you participate in asafer, more accepting places. Listen to how you talk about gender, contemplate how your gender identity shapes your experiences, and possibly privileges them as well. Remembering the past is important, and learning from the past is even more so, but without change and progress these deaths will continue unchecked, and I find this completely unacceptable.